A Fine Line: A Pride & Prejudice Variation Read online

  His mind working through all the information she gave him, he started at the use of one word. “Liberty?”

  “Precisely. I do not know what else to call it. You have the liberty to follow your friend to a different county to try to talk him out of marrying the woman he loves. You have the liberty of asking or not asking a woman to dance. You have the liberty to live life as you please. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same. God has afforded me no liberties, but to do as my parents wish.”

  “But your father—”

  “Yes, that is true. He does not wish me to marry Mr. Collins. For that, I am grateful. However, it could not have escaped your notice that my father also…” She paused, her lips thinning before she spoke again. “…He gives into my mother far too frequently just so he does not have to listen to her. He will not aid me in ridding Mr. Collins’s attentions toward me since my mother wishes it so much.”

  A low hum started in his mind. His initial reaction was to think Elizabeth naïve and uninformed, but the more she spoke of duty, he realized she had given great thought into her circumstances. If she refused to stand up with Mr. Collins, she was also refusing her mother’s wishes. Even though she was also denying herself her own wish, it would be a shock indeed to have a daughter who would not listen to her parents.

  Again, the overwhelming lack of sense laced in her entire family shook him to his core. How could she have turned out so well when her family was lacking in this highly regarded attribute? His heart reached out to her, but only his heart. He could not form words that would make any of the situation better, nor could he offer her anything else.

  A loud applause and shouts of joy turned both their attentions back to the house. Elizabeth did not waste any time climbing the steps back into her aunt and uncle’s house. Mr. Darcy did also, but much slower. In his mind, there could only be one reason for such a raucous display of frivolity and it would not please him in the least.

  As he had thought, he walked in to the room finding Elizabeth enveloping her sister in a hug and Mr. Bingley holding a glass high in the air. Charles looked at him with a grin that stretched his lips to their limit. His happiness was evident, just as Miss Elizabeth had pointed out to him several times. Why then could he find no happiness for his friend still?

  Mr. Bingley moved forward, no doubt to tell him that Mr. Bennet had finally agreed to the match. Of course, he had. There was never any doubt, which was why Darcy had tried to stop this from happening from the beginning. Before Charles could get too close, Darcy shook his head and once again exited the house. He could not share in anyone’s joy on the engagement of his friend with Miss Jane Bennet. Not even a little.

  Chapter Seven

  Elizabeth had never seen her sister happier than last evening after they officially announced the engagement. Jane had kept it a secret all day. Unbeknownst to the rest of the house, Mr. Bennet had a private conversation with each of the dear couple and then both together where he consented to the match. They waited until the party at Aunt and Uncle Phillips’s house to tell everyone. What a fine surprise it was.

  While she clutched Jane tight to her, reveling in her happiness, she could not help but look behind her to search out Mr. Darcy. She did not exactly want to gloat over him, but she did not expect to see the look of true disappointment on his face. It had kept her up all night. Despite what her first impressions would have led her to believe, she did not think Mr. Darcy was coming from a place of malice in his opinion of her family. In fact, he did seem to like Jane and even herself—on some occasions. More than any other at Longbourn, aside from Mr. Bingley of course, Darcy would only talk to the two of them. She could not exactly blame him for it either. She herself preferred to speak to Jane about important matters because she was someone with whom she could talk things over with logically. With Mr. Darcy being the type of gentleman that would not even talk unless it was important, of course he would seek out those in the house who would be better suited to his type of conversation.

  Through it all, though she disagreed with him about her sister, she still caught the hopelessness in his gaze as if he had just lost his friend. Did he truly think that aligning himself with the Bennet’s would despair Bingley? What about her family was so disagreeable to him that he thought it would ruin his friend? What type of upbringing did he have that he gave into these thoughts so easily instead of seeing the adoration so clear upon their faces?

  All the unanswered questions made her tired the next morning. She quickly recovered, however, when Bingley took her aside in the drawing room and expressed a wish to accompany his fiancée to London to purchase wedding clothes. Elizabeth was delighted with the ferocity of Mr. Bingley’s feelings as he spoke of wanting the wedding to be everything Jane wanted it to be. He told her he wished Jane to have the wedding dress of her deepest desires and would not be happy until she had chosen one, a fine one with lace, or maybe ribbons. He was determined to set off for London within a couple days to fulfill this wish.

  He desired Elizabeth’s help in arranging it all, and of course, requested she come with them to act as chaperon. She knew the trip would also take his friend with them as he would not stay at Longbourn without them. Perhaps he would leave them in London since he could see that his friend was a lost cause. Love had won out. Just as it should.

  Quick to agree to the scheme, Elizabeth sat down with her father to express their intentions on going to London and calming his entreaties by saying she and Jane could very well stay at their aunt and uncle Gardiner’s house while going to the shops. It was all settled within the hour where she retired to her room to write to Aunt Gardiner to accept their visit without delay.

  A soft knock sounded on the door as she signed her name to the end of the letter. “Come in,” she called.

  Jane entered the room, a soft smile gracing her lips, and closed the door behind her. Elizabeth immediately turned in her seat to observe her. She had yet to see her without a smile since she returned to Longbourn with Mr. Bingley. How refreshing it was to see a favorite of hers so happy.

  Jane sat on the edge of the bed. “Charles has told me he spoke with you this morning…”

  Her sister’s eyebrows rose, begging a question even though she did not ask for an answer. Elizabeth was all too ready to give her one. “Yes, I have just written to Aunt Gardiner now. Father has given his approval, and I have asked if we can stay at Gracechurch Street while we are there.”

  Jane smiled at her lap. “He is too kind, Lizzy. I do not know how I will ever deserve him.” She looked up again, her eyes glistening. Elizabeth moved to the bed and took her sister’s hand in hers. Jane squeezed her fingers. “Do you know why he wants to go to London?”

  “Yes. He said he wants you to have the wedding dress you deserve.”

  She smiled while shaking her head. “He asked me what I wanted to wear at our wedding and I told him I had a white dress I thought would do. I did not wish to ask Mother and Father for money to buy a dress, you know, not when I had something that would work. He told me he would not hear of me wearing a regular old dress. He told me we should go to London at once and that I may pick out any dress I wished if it would make me happy. Is it too much, my dear Lizzy? Should I be so happy, so selfish as to want to wear something new for the day I am to be married to him? Please tell me if I am and I shall tell him I do not wish to go and we can forget all about it.”

  Dawning settled over Elizabeth and she laughed. “Jane, no. It is not too much. How so very thoughtful of Mr. Bingley to realize you wished to have a wedding dress and to accommodate you as well. He is so sweet.”

  “Surely, we could find something in Meryton, however. To go to London is too much extravagance. I do not know why I even fancy the idea. He will think I am a spendthrift.”

  A smiled peeled Elizabeth’s lips apart. Sometimes her sister was too sensible for her own good. “Nonsense. We will go to London and you shall pick out a wedding dress. If you are that worried about it, make sure to fall in love with a dress t
hat is just right and not suitable for the Queen.”

  Jane’s eyes rounded and Elizabeth fought the bubble of laughter threatening from her chest once more. Jane would never pick out something so outrageous as would be fit for a queen. Her wants were so well maintained that it was a nice gesture for Mr. Bingley to want something nice for her to mark the occasion. It only proved his love for her, nothing more. That did not mean Jane had to buy the most expensive dress she could find. Indeed, she would not anyway.

  Seeing that questions still danced in her sister’s eyes, Elizabeth stood and retrieved the letter from her desk. She sealed it and then pushed it into her sister’s hands. “We will go to London, Jane. Consider yourself lucky that Mr. Bingley has the desire to make you happy in this regard.”

  She thought back to Mr. Bennet’s inexplicably confused look when Elizabeth first relayed the scheme to him. He thought the whole thing frivolous, then again, he was not so in love with Mrs. Bennet as Mr. Bingley was with Jane.

  To be loved by someone such that Mr. Bingley loved her sister would make her very happy indeed.

  The letter was sent and after the third day, they received word back from Mrs. Gardiner that they would accept the two girls at any time convenient to them. Mr. Bingley did not waste any time declaring they would leave the next morning. Within the week, Elizabeth sat next to a disgruntled Mr. Darcy as they made the trek into London. Instead of looking at Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth kept her gaze upon the picture of love before her. Sometimes the love was so raw upon their faces that it felt too intimate to stare at them at such a time, as if she were intruding on a private moment between the two.

  It made her heart ache in ways she did not quite yet understand. It also made her well aware of the inaccuracies of Mr. Darcy’s statements to her regarding unions. If love truly meant less than situation in life, she was not sure that was the type of life she wanted. One without love would not make her happy, of that she was completely and utterly sure of.

  Once she set her mind to something, she would not settle for less.

  * * *

  Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner accepted Jane and Elizabeth at Gracechurch street with all the happy notions of one’s niece being so well settled. Mr. Darcy did not accompany them, they dropped him off at his fine London House to make it ready for both gentleman’s stay. Elizabeth could not help but think he just wanted to be rid of the lot of them for surely a few minutes at her aunt and uncle’s would not be so bad. Even to him. Nevertheless, it was just the party of three that sat with them for dinner. Though Elizabeth hated to admit it. She longed for Darcy’s presence there. Her aunt and uncle were the very best of people and she was sure if he met them, he would not find their family so wanting.

  Before Mr. Bingley left that evening, he promised to return in the morning to attend to the ladies while they shopped for wedding clothes. They all bid him good night and then sat after he left, speaking of none other than Jane’s new happy life.

  Elizabeth went to sleep pushing Bingley’s friend from her mind and focusing on her sister’s happiness, and how to secure it for herself. At least with her removal from Longbourn, she also left behind Mr. Collins, much to her mother’s dismay. Mrs. Bennet had almost determined on Jane taking Mary with her, however, Jane stood fast and did not relent with her wish to take Elizabeth, which Lizzy thanked her sister heartily for.

  Away from the two annoyances that had been occupying her mind, Elizabeth slept soundly.

  Chapter Eight

  Mr. Darcy rose from bed that morning, his head laden with sleep and his mind a tangled cobweb of conflicting thoughts. After he readied himself for the day, he eyed his calling cards on his desk. He had promised himself at Longbourn that as soon as they arrived in London, he would call upon Bingley’s sister to make her aware of what had happened. He had been writing her letters throughout the courtship and she felt the same as he regarding the relationship between her brother and Miss Bennet. What was he to do about it now?

  A part of him still wanted to call upon Miss Bingley in hopes that she would help him remove Bingley from Miss Bennet. The other part wanted to cease contact with her about it all together. They had announced their engagement. He had once thought that not even that would stop him from trying to separate the two, but to see the joy in everyone’s faces that night at the Phillips’s house, he would be a monster to say it did not affect him. Especially since the amount of pure joy on his friend’s face was undeniable. He had not seen him look happier.

  Was Miss Elizabeth right? Who was he to determine in what way Bingley should be happy? He could not even say that the love of a woman from such a family would not make him happy anymore. His sleepless night was interrupted many times by Elizabeth’s smile, her eyes, her turn of countenance when he said something she did not agree with. His heart had latched onto something most unwillingly, but latched it had. Bingley and Miss Bennet were not even his true concern anymore.

  He looked away from the calling cards. He would not visit Miss Bingley. He would not ask for her help. Bingley, he was sure, would write to his sister and tell her the news and that was that. There was nothing else he could do on that front. But what of the struggle for himself? He knew Bingley was to go wedding clothes shopping with Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth this morning. Would it be too much to accompany them?

  He stood from the bed and pulled his jacket forward, straightening it around his shoulders before going downstairs for breakfast. Bingley was already there. “Good morning, Darcy.”

  “Good morning.”

  Still working out his own thoughts in his head, he did not dare say more. They ate in silence. He longed for the artful conversation of one of the Bennet ladies to fill the lull in the conversation. As it was, the only sounds he heard were the scraping of their forks against the plates as they finished their meals.

  At last, Bingley spoke. “I am to Gracechurch Street again this morning. I’ve ordered my carriage to be ready by half past ten so that I can retrieve Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth to take them to the shops. I would ask you to come, but I do not think you would find much happiness in traipsing about London to find a few bits of wedding clothes.”

  Darcy cringed at his friend’s laugh. It did not sound like fun. However, the scheme held something to him that he would find enjoyment out of—Miss Elizabeth. He cleared his throat and swallowed. “Actually, Bingley. I think I should like to accompany you this morning. I have something I should like to shop for…for Georgiana.”

  Charles leaned forward on the table. “Excellent.” He rose and exited the room without another look toward Darcy even though Darcy felt as raw as he ever had. Were not his feelings plain upon his face? He felt as if his words, his looks, were windows to his innermost thoughts, and they were all of Elizabeth Bennet.

  He busied himself around the house until he met Bingley at the front door at the appointed time. When they walked from Darcy House, Bingley’s carriage was already waiting for them outside. Bingley spoke during the trip to Cheapside and Darcy answered when necessary. He kept his eyes trained out the carriage window and watched as the fine houses turned from city shops and back to row houses. Not many who lived in Darcy’s neighborhood ever came into this part of town. When they stopped in front of a house, Darcy looked up at it. It was not all bad. Small, but it was not in shambles or rundown as he thought all houses in Cheapside to be.

  The servant opened the door and Bingley and Darcy stepped down from the carriage. Darcy followed Bingley up the steps. A little while later, they were led into a sitting room that held both Jane Bennet and Elizabeth Bennet, but a finely dressed older woman and a much younger daughter. He ignored the shocked look of Elizabeth as he was introduced to Mrs. Gardiner. Mr. Gardiner was from the house at the moment, which she apologized for, but invited them both to come dine with them while they were in town.

  Darcy was surprised at the gentility of the woman and her younger daughter. So different from the younger Miss Bennet’s and Mrs. Bennet that it was night and day. He
found he quite enjoyed speaking with Mrs. Gardiner. Their house was fashionably furnished and though the younger children in the house were let into the room at one point, they were all behaved to such a degree that Darcy could even look upon them with fondness. He even found himself saying, “What happy little young ones you have, Mrs. Gardiner.”

  He surprised even himself with that remark, which Mrs. Gardiner felt all the pride of. As well she should. He did not think he had ever seen children so well behaved as he did in their house. Soon, Bingley was anxious to leave and Darcy promised that he and his friend would accept the invitation to dinner before leaving to return to the carriage.

  Bingley and Miss Bennet spoke happily amongst one another, but he could feel Elizabeth’s eyes bore into him as they sat in the carriage. His silence must have been too much for her to bear because finally, she said, “Mr. Darcy, I am surprised to see you here this morning.”

  He turned a smiling face to her. It was the last thing she would expect and as he thought, her eyes rounded as the full force of his smile hit her. “I find I have some shopping to do as well, Miss Bennet. I should like to pick up something for my sister Georgiana. Her birthday is in a couple months and what better time than now to start looking for a present for her? Especially since my friends are determined to shop.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed at him, but she did not say anything. At length, Bingley called out to the driver to stop the carriage, and they all got down. The street was filled with shops for several blocks. Elizabeth’s eyes widened at the amount of people bustling down the walk. Her eyes darted around the street, taking everything in. He had not thought of it before, but perhaps this was the first time Elizabeth had been to London to see all the shops.